Brits Abroad

Why is it on holiday you are often ashamed of your fellow compatriots? Turkey, like so many other countries, has gone all out to cater for us Brits. Nearly every restaurant proudly advertised some sort of English dish. Others went to the extreme with gutbuster FEBS (full English breakfast) or Sunday roasts. I think it's really sad. The local food in Turkey was fabulous. One of the highlights for me was my Turkish breakfast every morning consisting of boiled egg, cucumber, tomatoes, feta cheese, bread, jam and olives. I have always hated tomatoes with a vengeance but have returned a convert. We even had Turkish breakfast for lunch today at home (although the boiled eggs were a food poisoning-esque disaster). When we were away we also dined on traditional 'puff' bread with hummus or garlic butter. The waiter in the restaurant insisted on showing me how the bread was made. The Turks love bread in any form. My kind of country.

It isn't just on the food front that you wonder about us Brits. At home I feel my tattoos are extremely tasteful. On holiday I felt like just another chav. Every other Brit had a tattoo or seven. Add to that muffin tops, males with distended beer bellies, both sexes sporting lobster sunburn or at the other extreme totally tanorexic leather. Not a good look.

Then you head to the shops. Azda. Which was actually fantastic. And on to Hissaronu market. Cries of "cheap as chips", "cheaper than Oxfam", "cheaper than ebay", "cheaper than shop lifting". If you could deal with all that banter the market was a great place for fruit, veg, nuts etc. And also for the usual Brit holiday souvenir of choice - the fake. Ed Hardy was a particular fave. Bench, Henleys, Paul Frank, DVB, Tiffany and the usual Louis Vuitton. I wasn't tempted in the slightest by this toot. However, there was one particular couple who every night would walk through the village in another set of market t-shirts. I'm sure that will get them much kudos on a Saturday night out at home.

At the beginning of our stay we did begin to fear we could have been in any faceless hot country but that soon changed. The surrounding mountain scenery was breathtaking and like nothing we've ever seen before. The sea was a perfect blue. The 5 times daily calls to prayer from the local mosque was a constant reminder you weren't at home. Goats in people's front gardens. Tortoises at the side of the road. The Turkish people - so friendly, so trusting and so generous. We also learnt a lot about the country in terms of history and geography on a trip we did making us feel better informed and less ignorant. So next time you're on holiday pass up the FEB and go native....otherwise you might just as well be at home.